Why We Say Merry Christmas
It’s an original Christmas carol from The Demonic Bible!
The lyrics:
A child was born as a human sacrifice.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
The child must die because people are nasty.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
The baby must die but return as a zombie
to kill all the people who will not obey him.
That's why we say merry Christmas!
They said he'd come back from the dead very soon.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
Two thousand years and we are still waiting.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
The baby must die but return as a zombie
to kill all the people who will not obey him.
That's why we say merry Christmas!
He will torture you all even after you die.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
Burning you up in a lake of fire.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
The baby must die but return as a zombie
to kill all the people who will not obey him.
That's why we say merry Christmas!
He will smash you with a rod of iron.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
He will crush you in a giant winepress.
Holly jolly merry Christmas!
What is this about?
This irreverent Christmas carol strips away the familiar aspects of traditional Christmas narratives and focus on the New Testament’s themes of sin, wrath, judgement, and the terrifying imagery of Christian eschatology, topped with catchy festive chorus.
The concern that Jesus will return to "kill all the people who will not obey him" doesn’t come out of thin air. It’s a direct reference to passages like Revelation 19:11-16, in which the Bible says Christ will return as a heavenly warrior to "strike down the nations" and rule them "with a rod of iron."
The song reframes the resurrected Jesus Christ not as a savior but as a vengeful tyrant. Jesus died, and then came back from the dead, making him a "zombie", describing a transformation of Jesus into reanimated corpse driven by a singular, violent purpose: obedience through force. This Christmas carol challenges the image of Jesus as a loving shepherd, replaces it with the accusation that Jesus is a cosmic dictator.
New Testament writers often spoke of the return of Jesus as imminent. For example, in Matthew 24:34, the writer states, "Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened." The failure of Jesus to return to rule the Earth as a violent, brutal king exposes the supposedly complex theological problem of the Parousia as something simple: A failed promise made by dishonest religious leaders. It suggests the entire Christian narrative is a hoax or a delusion, highlighting the gap between prophecy and reality.
The carol also references graphic passage from the New Testament’s Revelation 14:19-20, in which an angel working at the direction of Jesus harvests the "grapes of the earth" (non-Christian people) and throws them into "the great winepress of God’s wrath." The Bible says their blood will flow as high as a horse's bridle for 1,600 stadia. That’s a lake of blood covering hundreds of square miles.
The song exposes the Bible’s warning of the sadistic intentions of Jesus Christ after he rises from the dead. It highlights the sheer brutality present in the biblical text, forcing listeners to reconcile the "Holly jolly merry Christmas" message with this vision of divine violence, and calling into question the ultimate value of the Christmas holiday.
The sanitized popular version Christmas is an expression of willful ignorance, a cheerful facade that deliberately obscures the violent, coercive, and unfulfilled core of the theological narrative it perpetuates. The foundational story of Christianity is not one of peace and goodwill, but one of human sacrifice, divine tyranny, and the eternal threat of punishment of non-Christians. This Christmas carol is a raw, unapologetic critique that uses the religion's own foundational texts and concepts to challenge the religion’s moral and spiritual legitimacy.
It’s a condensed expression of the critical, questioning attitude of the demon Rogatio in The Demonic Bible.
Christianity appeals to the manger of the baby Jesus at Christmas, but that's just part of what’s going on, the bait. This song is about the hook. Christian preachers sell people on the gentle baby in Bethlehem, but the fine print—the part they try to soften with excuses of 'symbolism' and 'mystery'—is that Jesus is a ruthless authority who demands death, threatens violence for disobedience, and promises eternal punishment for those who don't comply with his demands.